If you constantly look back, you can't see the road in front of you and are doomed to crash. Not to mention the pillar of salt scenario. ehh.
When I am not nervously looking in the rear-view mirror wondering what is behind me, then I find my eyes directed at the beautiful scenery which surrounds me. This world is a beautiful one filled with sunsets and sunrises, forests, oceans, mountains, plains, lovely houses, gardens, cloud formations, and a little dog??? Screech. Phew.
If I could just focus on the vistas in front of me, I would still enjoy the scenery without endangering myself or any other creature.
And then there are the times when I am straining my eyes, trying to see the entire picture all at once. So worried about missing turns that I miss every single one. So stressed about these missteps that I look in the rear view mirror and miss the next one. Get nervous about all of these roads taken and become paralyzed. Unable to make the necessary u-turn or other course corrections.
You are stuck driving all the way to L.A. Be careful not to drive right into the pacific!
Hyperbole? Maybe. But you get the picture.
Luckily, I have never allowed my rear view mirror paranoia's or sideways stirrings to distract me to the extent that I crash, but how much more I enjoy driving when I am just focused on the road ahead of me. I can still enjoy the scenery and be aware with what lies behind me and before me, but what lies within, where we are on that road at any given moment is what is really important.
I will never cease to be amazed how the patterns of life imitate and repeat themselves constantly. I am who I am. My strengths and weaknesses show themselves in all that I do.
I can get nervous and overwhelmed when filling out forms, sight-reading music in front of people, performing a piece I don't feel confident about, that is, any piece...I am working on the confidence department, taking tests, again the confidence, I just can't stay focused on the task at hand, there is just so much that always needs to be done, and...let's just say I have yet to master the arts of realistic expectations and balance.
Also, I have yet to master the art of brevity. I didn't really get out what I wanted to.
Becca, stop looking back! People will pass you if they want to. They don't really care. And you did NOT fail or ruin your whole life, alter the timetable of the entire human race, or stop the second coming because you didn't smile at that random stranger. Chill out. Also, the scenery is lovely, but green pastures are yet ahead. You don't have to stop at every single rest stop to smell the flowers. There will be more flowers. You are still living life fully. Don't be scared about what lies ahead. You are not there yet. The detour you took, perhaps mapquest and Mr. Garrett the Garmin told you to take a certain path which you had meant to take, but it's okay to take a "wrong turn." They so often seem to be the best turns in the end.
Breath. Relax. Let yourself trip. Let yourself fall. Let yourself enjoy the chocolate mousse dessert. Allow others to help you up. Allow yourself to really live and love this life. Let go. Stop structuring your life around your perceived needs of others and around.....I don't know. You will have to figure that out.
G'night! :)
p.s. Becca don't forget that your weaknesses are sometimes your greatest strengths. When you are able to put the over-thinking aside, you perform magnificently in whatever you undertake with full purpose of heart. Go you! Give me a B. Give me an E. Give me a double-C. A!!!! What does it spell? Yayy!!! For BECKAAAAAYYYY!!!
p.p.s. Don't forget to delete this post in the morning when you are awake and embarrassed. Oh wait, but wouldn't that be looking back, or sideways, or forward, or worrying too much about what other people are thinking, or something like that?? ;P
No comments:
Post a Comment